Wednesday, March 28, 2012

On Reaping My Rewards or "It's not ever about me."

[Linking up with Joy from Joy in This Journey for her #lifeunmasked series.  If you haven't read her before, you should.  Her post today about postmodernism is wonderful.]

Sorry it's been so long...and I started off this month with such gusto, but alas, it couldn't last.  I know all six of you (that's right, I think we added a couple) are disappointed. It's just that...

I'm just so very tired.

My life is busy, my heart is heavy, the future is uncertain, and the words just don't come anymore.  I could make a thousand excuses about school, about work, about the responsibilities of parenthood, and they would be good excuses. Strong excuses.  Excuses that would have you nodding your head and wrinkling your face in one of those sympathetic pouty-frowny smiles with your eyebrows raised in pity.

Friday, March 2, 2012

On God's Love: Does it really "work" the way we think it does?

Wednesday's post sparked a couple of great questions from old friends about the nature of God's love, and what motivation we have for pursuing some kind of relationship with God absent the whole eternal damnation thing, so I thought I'd carry the conversation over here.

Throughout my life I've desperately wanted one these amazing experiences of God's love that I’ve heard so many people talk about. You know the ones I'm talking about: the warmth that fills the room, the inexplicable peace, the assurance, the feeling of the arms wrapping you up.

I wouldn’t have minded a ladder to heaven either, but that might’ve been a bit much.

Finding myself dissatisfied with my view of God as a loving being because I had never had one of these tangible experiences, I felt like I had to question my expectations of God. So I did, and it was at that point, I stumbled across one those most oft-quoted-yet-just-as-oft-misunderstood verses: 
1 John 4:8. “Whoever does not know love, does not know God, because God is love.”
I read this verse that I’d read a million times, and I came to a pretty drastic conclusion.

God doesn’t love us. 
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